These actors - primarily Devon Sawa (who played the lead in Idle Hands), Ali Larter ( House on Haunted Hill), Kerr Smith (TV's "Dawson's Creek"), and Seann William Scott ( American Pie) - have less range than a left fielder with a broken leg. One might legitimately ask how any actor could keep a straight face while delivering Final Destination's dim-witted, feeble lines - until you consider the group of thespians saying the dialogue. Soap operas are written with more subtlety.
Final destination 1 cast movie#
Next time I'm in the bathroom, you can bet I'll be checking to make sure the toilet isn't leaking.īutchering the premise is only an egregious enough cinematic sin to earn Final Destination the label of "frustrating," but the movie does so many other things wrong that it quickly ascends to the level of "nearly unwatchable." The dialogue is unforgivably bad. (But, since it's a tool of the Grim Reaper, I suppose one has to accept a little dramatic licence.) Not since the attack of the lunatic refrigerator in The Mangler have seemingly normal items turned psychotic like this. And someone else is menaced by a homicidal electric cable that conveniently defies all the laws of physics. Another learns in a rather graphic way that hard liquor can kill. One individual becomes the victim of creeping toilet bowl water (this only happens after the film "teases" us with hints that he might accidentally slit his throat while shaving or electrocute himself). So, with John Denver singing in the background, they start dying one-by-one.Īt least there's some variety to the ways in which the characters die, with Rube Goldberg having choreographed half of the bloodbaths. Instead, Final Destination is intent upon illustrating that, while it's possible for seven people to cheat death by disembarking from a doomed plane, the Devil still demands his due. Any existentialist thoughts are quickly squashed.
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The point of the movie has nothing to do with how the survivors cope with guilt and uncertainty. (In fact, Krzysztof Kieslowski's Blind Chance toyed with similar elements of life, death, and crashing planes.) Of course, it takes about ten minutes for it to become apparent that Final Destination is only going to use this as a hook. What happens if someone on board a plane has a premonition of disaster, flees from the aircraft before takeoff, then watches in horror as it explodes once it is airborne? This is the kind of meditation on fate that would seem more at home in a foreign art film than in a teenage slasher movie. Somewhere buried deep in the film's premise lies the kernel of an intriguing idea - and that's Final Destination's lone good point. Yet even words like "moronic" and "idiotic" don't do Final Destination justice. In fact, in order to effectively write this review, I'm going to need a thesaurus to come up with synonyms for "stupid".
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Next to the puerile rubbish that is Final Destination, they're Hawthorne and Dickens. One short week ago, I berated both Mission to Mars and The Ninth Gate for the lack of intelligence evident in their screenplays. I stand in awe of Final Destination - awe that a motion picture of such unmitigated stupidity could make it to the screen.